I missed you, God.
When you cry, I hold you. I wipe away your never-ending tears. You push me away. You hit me. You tell me to leave you alone as you walk away, sobbing. But my love, that is simply not good enough for me, but you are. So I chase after you, I put my arms around you. You put your hands into fists and start fighting me away, but I don’t relent when it comes to the one I love. I grab your wrists in one hand, I gently wipe away the tears from eyes so red and swollen from your refusal to let them show. You start crying again, and I wipe away every single tear streaming down your face. You put your hot face in the middle of my chest, and finally let me hold you. I let go of your wrists and you wrap your arms around me. Your face is buried in my chest, your hands cling onto me as if I am all you have left, because I am. You cry and cry and cry, but you’re done fighting, and now you’re just letting me love you. That’s all I wanted, anyway.
GOD
I’m so sorry Lord, i have been so far away… Life is getting its hold on me and i refused to let go. I have FORGOTTEN that I’m supposed to let go. All the assignments, heartaches, disappointments, troubles, worries, anxieties…
The thing is. I kept thinking that “God will give me strength…God will give me strength. He will give me strength to do all those assignments, to conquer all those troubles and disappointments..” I kept thinking that..& I have forgotten that God will conquer them for me. I have forgotten that I’m not just supposed to fight the battle by just asking God for strength to go through. I was supposed to give God the strength to fight the battle for me. I was supposed to give God the authority, the power, to fight this battle FOR me. I shouldn’t be just asking God to give me strength to carry on. But i should have asked God for more of Him. More of God Himself. Because ALL the strength that i need is in him. So why did i keep asking for strength when i could ask for ALL of Him?
In other sad words, i seek for his strength more than i was actually seeking for Him. That’s why although i haven’t exactly backslided, it had been so tough. It should have been so much easier. I shouldn’t be striving so hard to earn what i already possess. God’s grace.
